How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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