Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Land Rovers

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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what do u call a black man a black man

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops