Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Land Rovers

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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what do u call a black man a black man

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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