One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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hey bill!

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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for keeps?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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Woman's rights

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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