What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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A black man didn't walk into a bar

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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It's only racist if you consider them people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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