What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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I like hats XD!

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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