Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Pickles

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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