Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Alex Eggbert

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

thumb_up thumb_down -9

BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops