What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Who is a knob? ross d

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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