Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Yo mama so stupid She took in part of an experiment and was indeed proclaimed stupid.

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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