A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate a dude's face.

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Welcome To Facebook

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops