What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

Ham sandwich

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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