Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Kah-________-

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Win and Beau have no friends

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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fart+fart=poop

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Are you Drew?

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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