A horse cantered into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Mmmmmmmmbutch

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops