what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops