What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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