How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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Women's rights.

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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