An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Canada's army

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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My butt!!!!

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Paul Dylan King!

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BWAT

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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