where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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a black father

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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