What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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I have an idea! You leave.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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