how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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