What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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