Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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