what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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