Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

whats white and sticky? a white stick

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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