A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops