i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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42

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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