how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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