What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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No

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops