A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops