What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops