A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops