Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

NEVER

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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