what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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dat shoe shine tho

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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