Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Where's my baby??

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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