Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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civil rights

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops