My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

the lemon was sweet.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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