knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops