what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

Happy Monday!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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