Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops