What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

YOLO You only like Oreos

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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