Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

thumb_up thumb_down -25

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +26

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops