A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops