So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops