If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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