Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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