How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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