What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Peas

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops