What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -10

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -14

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops