Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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