Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Peas

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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