A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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