If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A women left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -12

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What? Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops