chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Pain Olympics.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops