how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

I have cancer. And you're next.

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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