What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +12

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops