What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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it

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Women's Rights

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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