The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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