What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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how much fish could a chicken

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops