A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Chris is hairy

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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13 =B you just learned something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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