How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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