An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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