Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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