Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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