Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops