Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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