what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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sky silverstein

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Women's rights

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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