whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops