Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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