What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops