What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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