What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Weaner

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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