A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ms Leong Sux

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops