Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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My cat just died.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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