Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops