Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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