I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

The global news

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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