Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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The global news

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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