Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops