Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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