How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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The child was fired from his job.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Guess what What

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops