Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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